I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
