you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
