I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
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