maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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