This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
