Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
