I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I made him laugh his dick is mine
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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