I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
