you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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