Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just had sex on a roof
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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