$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
