That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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