Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
