TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
