Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
