Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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