This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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