my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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