remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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