well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I party with great urgency now.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
