He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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