im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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