i need an iv and a liver transplant
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
