on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
