I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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