i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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