I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
