Those balls look pretty dangerous.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
