I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
