Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
