haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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