You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Randomize
