Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
