dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
