ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
