The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
