smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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