He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
