I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
