Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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