Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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