3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
