I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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