with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
