Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
