I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
