belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
