This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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