i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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