There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
