So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
