So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
