you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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