You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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