Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
