they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
