Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
