I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
